I slept in a bit and woke up to birds chirping and bright blue skies. I could hear people in the kitchen filling bowls with cereal and could smell fresh coffee waiting for me. I set myself up for this experience last night by super cleaning the kitchen after having company and setting up the coffee maker to brew at 630a. No shame, no fancy coffee over here…convenience brewed. Additional convenience comes from the overnight oats waiting for me. Finally, I got up, threw on some shorts, washed my face, and walked out to greet the world. Laura was reading her book, fireplace was on, and Grayson nor Juliette were nowhere to be seen. Probably sleeping in or watching cartoons. A perfect childhood morning for them.
Last night, Laura hosted a few of her close girl friends for dinner and drinks. I happily served them food, poured wine/sparkling water, and made sure they were well taken care of. I really enjoy the opportunity to create experiences for others to enjoy and feel cared for. I didn’t control the conversation, that was all on them, but I did make sure they were well served while they exchanged ideas energy, and stories. Playing this role in community is important to me, it gives me energy and purpose. I do also need this role to be played in my life so that I can sit back and exchange thoughts with friends.
Speaking of exchanging thoughts with friends, I preplanned a neighborhood hike with my friend, Florian. In the near past, I’ve felt both self conscious and somewhat greedy to take time away from family to be with friends. As I grow older and possibly wiser, I’ve come to realize how important making this time is to take. The epidemic we are having around loneliness is a direct product of our controlling culture and internal gremlins. I’ve been programmed to not need company, forced to be independent, shamed for needing closeness, and othered if I refused to fit into a predefined box. While there is a stubborn rebellious spirit within me, I am now understanding that it’s really my natural being rebelling against the artificial and oppressive controls that I’ve been subjected to. This walk with Florian, heck any recent walks I’ve taken with friends that is purely relational, not transactional, is a rebellion for me, against systems, monarchies, or ideologies I refuse to bow down to.
We talked about life struggles, jobs, work, marriage, kids, trail maps, capitalism, and poison ivy. We talked about our rebellions, our wonders, and our love of good bread. We talked about how to pull together a community of people outside of Facebook or closed group text threads so that we could share resources and collaboratively build.
Where does any of this go? It doesn’t have to have a goal or go anywhere, but I need to both recognize this and capture all of its awe and wonder as yet another footstep, forward step, in the direction that I want to go in.
Notes for me:
- Tool bank
- Community share
- Small group heartbeat trial
- Trail mapping project
- Mountain bike repair
- Residual income beyond rentals
- Community center (no transaction)
The pictures have a theme, water, growth, and slow yet meaningful progress.