getting laid…off

One can be much more pleasurable than the other – depends on the circumstances. Read on if you’re willing to dip your toe into some NSFW analogies with me. For those unwilling, please know – I am up to running face first into the uncomfortable conversations with when time permits, please reach out!

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Money mismanagement and strategic business planning to reduce overhead costs creates a situation where one or many are “laid off” (with ample executive golden parachutes, of course). On the other hand, carnal desires and naked-enough bodies roughly, rhythmically dancing together creates a situation where two or more people are “getting laid” (with ample foreplay, of course). Where does the most pleasure lie? Depends on the dynamics of both situations, who’s involved, and how the experiences are handled. Trust, consent, loyalty, timing, safety, support, collaboration, empathy, compassion, and care make quite a bit of difference when it comes to how we experience getting “laid off” and “getting laid”. Some companies and partners really have no idea what they are doing.

I live my life with high levels of empathy and compassion which transforms into increased capacity for trust, consent, loyalty, safety, support, collaboration, and care. Timing is one that I wish I could control, yet I don’t, so I remain empathetic, compassionate, and prepared.

How do you prepared to “get laid” and “get laid off”?

preparation noun
prep·​a·​ra·​tion ˌpre-pə-ˈrā-shən

: the action or process of making something ready for use or service or of getting ready for some occasion, test, or duty

To be prepared, one must have active hope and insight that both things can and will happen at some point. When they do happen, what have you done to be ready for it? While Sex With Emily says “Always have lube.” for the sex side, the employment blogs talk about, “Always maintain your networks.” Very practical and tactical, of course…but none of this matters to me if your empathy and compassion practice sucks. Who wants to be with a well lubed sociopath or a well networked narcissist? Maybe there are a few of you out there, but I would rather NOT get in bed or build a business with either because in the long term, knowing myself, I will get screwed (and not in a good way) and feel like I did something wrong. AND the harsh burn is the fact that my feelings would be accurate, I didn’t value myself above the play or job. Import lesson to learn when values are misaligned.

So, post getting laid off, what am I doing specifically?

1. I am going to work on me-empathy! Self care, self reflection, and self-love. Maybe some retail therapy?
2. I am going to work on being more compassionately radical and get into some “good trouble” on purpose (this blog post might be one). It’s time to speak my fucking mind and build things that I believe in with others. With empathy comes truth and with truth, comfort is not guaranteed.
3. I am going to work on how I value myself with others and above the work. Build, maintain, and talk about my boundaries and expectations
   • Jobs, contracts, work are in a privileged position to have me as part of their team. Here’s what I offer and here is what I expect.
   • Family, friends, dance partners, and running buddies – let’s find a fun pace to have great experiences together. Also, and again, here’s what I have to offer, and here is what I expect.

So, I hope you don’t get “laid off” in December, because the timing sucks, but if you do – double down on yourself. I hope you do “get laid” by a highly empathetic, compassionate, and consent driven super human that values you AND your body.

Be curious,
Be radical,
Be humble,
Be nimble,
Be hungry
AND leave most of your ego out of where you are going and what you are doing.