overwait

over – forward beyond an edge or brink and often down

wait – to stay in place in expectation of

overwait – waiting too much or more than is considered normal

I tend to overwait as a function of internal fear mixed with hope and politeness. Fear with an odd sense that it is “not my turn” or “I might disturb” and hope that my turn will soon come while I politely wait. When my expectations are not met because I’ve overwaited, I tend to get resentful. I don’t like being resentful because it negatively alters my outlook on people and pulls me back from the things that I am striving for. How do I actively counter my tendency to overwait? Well, I am still working on this and feel like it will be a lifelong practice. When I feel myself overwaiting, sometimes I just force myself to take the action now, without hesitation. Make the phone call, send the message, go on the run, etc. The bigger problem lies in the projects and desires that take more than one step and take a dedicated commitment. These are more difficult because I have to push myself across the threshold of waiting more often. This is when patterns and habit stacking really helps me. I like to think of my recent pattern as joy stacking because habits in my head always make me think about “smoking habits”. Joy stacking sounds both fun and arousing ,dare I say. I find something fun, enjoyable, exciting to do after push through my overwaiting threshold. Currently, I have a bag of black licorice on my desk as a prize for getting shit done. It is small, helpful, and yummy.

No, black licorice won’t solve all of my overwait issues. Most of them will be solved simply by me taking action and speaking up. The results, whatever they might be, will be even sweeter black licorice. I will be on the other side of overwait.