This is a question I ask myself often, especially when I find my shoulders creeping up towards my ears, my breath is short or non-existent, and my focus is blurry and easily distracted. If I was pummeled by a wave every time I glanced at the news, read a text, or scrolled social media I would do all I could to stop from drowning. Fear of physical drowning is real so we avoid it at all costs. So why do I keep opening up these platforms if I know I am going to get overwhelmed and reactionary? I am curious and there is a thrill when I can connect my energy, empathy, and compassion with another person. I risk exhaustion in the face of curiosity and connection. The issue is that the intensity and extremely fast cadence of delivery makes my personal risk of exhaustion outweigh the slower and deeper rewards from connection. These are not regular waves, this is an artificial super storm.
As a youth surfing off the pier in Newport Beach, I remember the “oh fuck me…” feeling of failing to duck dive a wave in time. Duck diving is when you take your surfboard and push it and your body under a crashing wave before it hits you. I distinctly remember being tossed around by the crashing wave and teared at under toe while trying to avoid getting smashed by my surfboard. The first time it happened I was terrified and remember paddling back to the beach in tears, out of breath, salt water streaming out of my nose and ear, and exhausted from the fight. I sat on the beach for a while and watched the waves crash. Some waves carried surfers that effortlessly glided and cut through the powerful wave. Some got smashed like I did, emerged, and then paddled back out to the break. Encouraged and maybe a bit crazy, I eventually paddled back out the waves and did my best to respond to the oncoming swells. I was never a good surfer, yet the adrenaline and freedom of catching a wave is deeply addictive so I kept going back to the source and risked the inevitable fight inside the wave. I miss the beach so much.
The big difference between surfing waves and surfing news + social media is the difference between potential intensity and cadence. With beach surfing waves, we can literally SEE the intensity and cadence of waves rolling towards us. They can be small baby waves or giant violent storm waves. We get to decide what we are willing to take on based on our ability and nerve. There is only so much our bodies can take, so we weigh the risk and reward accordingly. With the waves of social media and news, it is always a storm and no longer powered by the moon or Mother Nature’s storms. It’s intensity and cadence are artificially created, powered by advertising dollars, algorithms, and systemic greed for attention. The waves of social media and news cycles are artificially huge, rapidly crashing, unpredictable, and with an extremely efficient under toe to pull us back into the storm. Now imagine, sitting on the beach with the same human capabilities, looking out over this war of water crashing at you. Do you surf? Do you play in the white water and then get out? Do you run towards the receding water and then run like hell away from the oncoming wave? Do you step your toe in? Do you have a choice?
I tend to react to the news more than I would like. I respond with expensive emotions that sway my entire emotional state and how I relate to people. I respond with hate and disgust more often than my body, my soul, or my bones can take. I get pummeled by the social media and news wave, swim back to shore, and sit there crying. My desire for curiosity and connection dissipates because I don’t set boundaries and goals for what I consume and WHOM I consume it with. I need surf buddies to weather these waves with me. Going surfing alone into these waves without purpose is a fool’s game. I need surf buddies to sit on the beach with me and have Socratic discussions about what we know, just experienced, and want to do.
I want to respond to more of the waves of life, not react to them. Therefore I need surf buddies that are curious, desiring connection, and like tacos.
Ha, maybe these surf buddies are also empathy athletes? I think they are…heck, I know they are! Thank you EA Team!
Hello, I am Shelton. 